Breastfeeding v Formula, round ad infinitum

This picture was taken when G was just a week old. Maybe you're thinking "Awww, how adorable" or "What a small baby"...or "Cool for Papa helping to feed baby". Hopefully you're not thinking "EVIL, Chuck is feeding G a BOTTLE, it must be FORMULA. That baby is doomed forever". Probably not, since it's a guy bottle feeding a baby...or maybe you're just cool and non-judgmental like that. Would your reaction be different if it was me (mom) holding a few-day old baby, bottle feeding? For some, the reaction would be different, and that just plain sucks.

Whether a baby is breastfeed or formula fed is an issue a lot of people spend a ridiculous amount of energy caring about. I'm not sure that is our nation's most pressing social issue.

Let me back up for a sec. Yesterday there was an interesting article in the NYT, "Breast-Feed or Else"...which, as you might imagine gets into the whole breastfeeding vs. formula thing. I wholeheartedly agree that "breast is best". But breast does not always work out, for what.ever.reason. When that occurs, thank God there's formula.

Do I think that more needs to be done to promote the benefits of breastfeeding? Yes, but I also think more needs to be done to support parenting, and more specifically support mothers in our society (say maternity/paternity leave, flexible work options, and work/life balance, just for starters). What we don't need is mothers feeling guilty when they don't breastfeed or other (ignorant) bf'ing mothers looking down upon mothers who don't breastfeed.

As you may have guessed, this is really a hot button issue for me and I am SO. GLAD. that it's behind me now, and instead of justifying bottle-feeding or explaining, defensively, why I didn't breasfeed, I can commiserate with other parents of toddlers because toddlers, OMG, they are a lot of work! And, OMG, they all survived whether they were breastfed or formula fed! I can assure you as you glance across the playground that you don't think "There goes Suzy, obviously she was bottle fed", instead you're probably busy judging her parent's parenting skills. Am I wrong?

Going back to the NYT article though, there have been some interesting related posts (see here here and here,thanks Allison for leading me to the first link)...so I won't waste my time and rehash the arguments or the feeling of isolation and guilt that one feels when bf'ing just doesn't fucking work out. OK, I will share...briefly. I pumped exclusively for 4 months (creating a freezer stash to last through 6 months)...and I went to a LLL meeting which btw, did NOT make me feel any better about my ordeal. But guess what? Despite everything I did to provide G with the "liquid gold" I still felt guilty for not bf'ing, more so in the beginning when my hormones were highly imbalanced. The very last thing any new mom needs is guilt over baby liquid choices when she can barely get herself fed and showered on a daily basis.

Suffice it to say that way too much energy is spent being negative. I'm not gonna roll like that. Nope. You won't find me judging another woman's feeding choice (or lack thereof). You will find me focusing on societal change to support parenting in the 21st century and supporting moms, in any way I can.

Just tryin' to keep it real.